Monkey SEE, Monkey DO

By the time I was 14, I had it down pat.  I could wrap a boy around my little finger with the bat of one eye…..This didn’t come as a surprise to me. After all, I had been in training to do this my whole life.

Even though my parents didn’t get married until I was 8, they were still “together” and being “together” with a Long-Haul Truck Driver made my Mother’s promiscuous ways easier to perfect.  My dad would leave on Sunday night and not return until late Friday/early Saturday.  Plenty of time for my Mother to work on her skills and plenty of time for me to watch and learn.

“Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy, and they’ll be nice to you” NO! My Mother didn’t turn me into an escort or prostitute, but she might as well have been one.  During those 5-6 days my dad was on the road, her bed was a male companions-lots of “uncles”-rotating door.  They came and went.  Some even stuck around when my dad was home, they were his party buddies. Crazy part is: he knew…….he didn’t know the extent, but I know he knew.

I learned how to flirt, capture the attention of an entire room, get a man to do my bidding with ease by the time I was 5. All from watching my Mother in action.  She really knew how to mesmerize a crowd.

Ultimately,  I learned that my self worth was only as good as or was worth as much as any given man said it was.

I was well into my 30’s before I realized that was all a load of horse shit.

Do you know how HARD it is to un learn something like that?


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